A polar bear writes:

Ha! You ignorant fools! Your foolish plans are all doomed, and this so-called bearwatch is doomed to failure. We, the Polar bears, are far too wily to be spotted by the likes of you, you dim-witted, shoddily furred, blunt clawed Numbskulls. It is we who have been observing you in your natural habitat for all these years. Ever notice, did you? Ha! That's how good we are. What's more, when you go out, we've been trying on all of your clothes, wearing your slippers, smoking your cigars and drinking your Brandy.
Bet you didn't even know you had some Brandy, did you?

Soon, and believe you me, it will be very soon, your pathetic "civilisation" will crumble like dust in the wake of the hurricane, and, mark my words, it is the Polar Bears who will rise up to claim in the light of open day the Crown of authority which we have so often worn in the dark. Polar Bears of Lancaster, stand tall - the day approaches when it is We who shall be the ones making entertaining wildlife documentaries about Gorillas and Wildebeast.

Live in fear, you fools.


A Polar Bear.

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