Old News from way back..........

China is shrinking. Experts fear that, should it continue shrinking at it's present rate, world homelessness will soar. Geneticists consider that the only answer is to make Chinese males and females who can shrink at an equally fast rate.

Top Rock Star Jon Bon Jovi has shocked fans by anouncing his retirement next year. Most were shocked by Bon Jovi revealing that it was, in fact, long overdue;- "I should have called it quits three years back", he told reporters, "but now I really need to get a bus pass. I guess I should just get used to being sixty eight." Talking frankly for the first time about his age, he told reporters, "Well, I know I once sang 'I'll sleep when I'm dead', but to be honest with you, I'd be just as happy not waiting that long. A little nap every afternoon in front of the telly sounds very appealing at my time of life, you know".

The Moon is actually made of cheese. That's a fact, that is.

Experts predict that, by the year 2020, every man beast and child in North Western Europe will consist of the following vegetables:- 28% potato, 19% carrot, 12% courgette, 9% various Peppers, and 7% Aubergine. The rest of the body will, by then, consist largely of Bisto.


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